A lingering obsession

For the past 2-3 winters, I have nurtured a desire for the perfect pair of gray boots. Last year, I found some that I loved, but was just too cheap spend $130 on boots I hadn't tried on. (Also, I've never spent that much money on any item of clothing!) But they were lovely:

Perfect low wedge heel- if I'm going to wear them into work, shoes have to be comfortable for 10+ hours of wearing, not to mention several miles worth of walking. Low heels are the only kind of heel that will work for me, and I liked the wedge with this light gray and finish.

Knee-high- I have no desire for short boots, or worse, booties (shudder). If they don't come up to my knees, it will only emphasize how much smaller my feet are than...the rest of me is. Knee-high boots give my lower legs a long, lean line. (Alliteration, FTW!)

Patent- I'd never considered patent boots until my eyes landed on these beauties. Evidently, it gives them water-repelling properties. YES.

By April or so, I'd finally decided I was going to be an adult and just get them already and move on towards the horizon of my future and away from my obsession. Feeling good about my decision, I checked online and ...what? Sold out??? NOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooo. It was a sad day. Eventually, I decided those boots must not have been meant for me after all, and then the urge for gray boots subsided.

Until recently.

I work in what could be considered a boot-crazed environment. In the winter months, my coworkers and I usually have 1-2 boot-related conversations per day. Since I already own the perfect cognac-colored "leather" knee-high boots and warm and comfy black suede almost-knee-high boots, my part in the conversations always trends towards gray knee-highs. I hadn't really seen any I'd cared for since the London Fog ones pictured above, but, thanks in part to all of these discussions, I'd already imagined my ideal gray boot- a nice deep taupe-y gray leather, with equestrian/military detailing, and a low (but not wedge) heel.

And then, at the mall this weekend (what am I, in high school? who says that?), I saw these:

They were on a clearance table. I was coming from the eye doctor's office and my vision was blurry, but even I knew I was looking at my dream boot! Those buttons! That perfect distressed gray color! The equestrian and military detailing! I think I actually squealed when I saw them, they were so perfect. And on big-time sale! I picked up the box on the clearance table- 10M. "Too big for me," I thought, as I rifled around on the half dozen other tables piled high with clearance boots. "Surely there's another pair around here somewhere. Even a 9 and a half I could maybe work with."

I think you know how this story is going to end. There were no more boots. When I circled back to the original pair of 10s, they were gone too. Some part of me knew that would happen, so I'd taken a picture of the box with my phone to look up online later. "No worries,"I told myself."I'll find them. There are like a billion websites that sell shoes."

Well, my faith in the interwebs was misplaced this time. After about an hour or so of searching again tonight, I'm giving up. These boots are apparently only available through Dillard's. According to Dillards.com, only size 6.5 is in stock. Sad.

Another pair of gray boots that got away. They are my white whale. One day, I will find them, the perfect knee-high gray boots!

Until then, call me Ahab.